September 25th, 2024
Sow….
(Sowing some thoughts and dreams ….)
Going through a big life change? Going through several big life changes?
I may have mentioned this before but within the space of a year, I sold a house I’d lived in for 17 years, bought a new house, got made redundant, started a new business (leaving behind a 20 year + career path in corporate manufacturing and engineering environments), had a major life changing operation that included removing some organs, changed my health status, broke up with my boyfriend, broke up with a close life long friend and a very close family member was diagnosed with cancer. These are the key elements of what I can remember – the top-level stuff. As part of all of this I’d been doing ‘the work’ on past trauma’s, issues and removal of limiting beliefs for several years, I’d been in regular extreme physical pain for the 4 / 5 years leading up to this and had been ploughing on positively through life through some very tough stuff.
The reason I am saying this is to state – I get it. Pretty much whatever someone is going through – I get it – that’s just in one year alone, I went through all sorts prior to that.
What’s interesting is – is that once you’ve been through big shifts and changes you can be impatient for the new life to begin – the one that’s bound to be better, bound to be more fulfilling than all of that other stuff you’ve just been through. But it only will be if you’ve learnt from what’s happened, if you’ve made the shifts and changes so that you don’t just keep repeating the same thing over and over again. That’s a point I wanted to make, but I also wanted to make that point that it’s ok to rest!!! We tend to put a time limit on resting – this urgency that if we don’t keep producing and outputting then it won’t be ok! When you’ve had major life changes – lots of chemicals can be released into your body – cortisol, adrenaline – things that help you jump into action, to fight, flight or freeze and these can take months to get out of your system. If you’re like me and you’re stepping away from a 20 year career – that’s a big ship to turn! You don’t just suddenly stop being that person, changing the way you live, your habits, your patterns, it takes time for your brain to integrate everything – you aren’t just a brand new person over night – you have to create new habits, new ways of being.
I realized the other day – I’d actually gone through physical torture from my own body for years – repeated intense pain that had isolated me and impacted on my life so extremely and I realized that was actually a lot to get over – I’m well and healthy now, but there was still a residue of reservation, hesitance, lower self confidence and many other aspects to remove now that I was free to live my life as I wished again.
The other thing is when we go through a big life change, it doesn’t just impact on us – it impacts on all of the people around us and doesn’t always gain the responses we expect! When we expect people to be happy for us, there are those that will be triggered by our success, or our changes, or even the plans to change. If we’re following a soul purpose path people may reduce what you are doing to not being a big deal, try to copy what you’re doing or hide your gifts from others – that’s been one of my biggest realizations recently – that as a character, or what I do – these things have both been hidden by others who are unwilling to share me as they want the attention for themselves in some way. When you’re a sensitive person with an open loving heart, this can all be shocking to realize. It can be difficult to work out who is on your side and you have to be careful to recognize those who are genuinely supporting and loving you and those who are living in their own fears and sense of lack.
My point is – it’s so important to be compassionate, patient and kind to yourself when you’re going through huge life changes – as you build healthy boundaries, establish your new life, your new you. It’s no small feat foxglove friends.
With a loving heart,
Rose x